Tag Archives: pregnancy symptoms

how bed rest is like prison…with perks

this time last year i was in the hospital on bed rest. oh man, it sucked. i cried, i whined, i complained, and i pretty much threatened the nurses and docs. like seriously. i was a caged animal. or a … Continue reading

Posted in baby model, bedrest, emergency room, fertility, first-time mom, gluten-free, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta: eating, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

ready or not

like it or not, this baby’s coming. soon. like really f*cking soon…like in less than 24 hours. and even after 12 days of lying on my ass in the hospital waiting for this day to come, i’m still not remotely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

put a cork in it

well it happened again. i woke up early saturday morning to take a wizz and there it was—a river of bright-red blood. you’d think that after the last crazy episode, puddn and i would be prepared…but nope, we’re clearly the … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

flat on my back

right now my pits reek worse than puddn’s sweaty (and hairy) ass after crossfit. and it’s after 5 pm, and i haven’t brushed my teeth yet today. seriously, i’m repulsive. but who gives a sh*t? it’s not like anyone’s gonna … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, gluten, gluten-free, in-laws, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, subchorionic hemorrhage, thawing breastmilk, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

the devil wears seersucker

if you think puddn’s obnoxious, you should see him when he’s bombed—especially at a wedding. dear god. lemme tell you that dipsh*t is lucky to be alive today cuz last night i almost killed him… it wasn’t the first time … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

staycation of sorts

last week was brutal. for once, it didn’t have anything to do with this damn pregnancy. nope…this time, puddn took my sweet stinky away from me for a whole week—and i seriously lost my sh*t… i was supposed to fly … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, the moms view, toddler who curses, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

puddn in the hot seat

i haven’t really written much about puddn lately, so it’s high time he got some sh*t. i decided to ask him a list of questions about my pregnancy to see how’d he’d answer them…and he was a d*ck as usual… … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, curse words, cursing baby, discipline baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

knocked up…another top 12

last week i wrote about the top 12 crappiest parts about being preggers—that was a total cinch. but that got me thinking…could i come up with 12 good things about being knocked up? lemme tell ya, it was a helluva … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, terrible twos, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

bloody hell

yesterday my high-risk doc scared the living sh*t outta me. as puddn and i walked outta the office, i asked if he was ready to be a single dad to 2 kids—after i bleed to death… yep, that’s what the … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, subchorionic hemorrhage, tantrums, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

the name game

aside from deciding if we’re gonna have the lil guy’s weenie skin snipped, the other big question is what we’re gonna name this kid. i’m clearly not one to keep such things (or anything else in my life) a secret, … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, circumcision, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, terrible twos, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments