Tag Archives: lulu clancey

potty training is stupid

a friend of mine asked the other day when i’m gonna start potty training the budge.  i said he can shit his pants ‘til he’s 10 for all i care. lu’s been using the potty for about a year now. … Continue reading

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“Santa is Kind of an Asshole” by Lulu, 3 years old

This year I’m leaving broccoli for Santa instead of cookies. Why? Cuz he’s fat and eats too many cookies. If you really think about it, Santa’s totes creepy. First of all, the seeing-you-when-you’re-sleeping-and-knowing-when-you’re-awake thing is totally skeevy. And why is … Continue reading

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how bed rest is like prison…with perks

this time last year i was in the hospital on bed rest. oh man, it sucked. i cried, i whined, i complained, and i pretty much threatened the nurses and docs. like seriously. i was a caged animal. or a … Continue reading

Posted in baby model, bedrest, emergency room, fertility, first-time mom, gluten-free, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta: eating, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

lu’s big, fat purple party

after lu’s ginormous second birthday party last year, puddn and i pinky-swore we’d never do it again. soooo of course, i threw her a bigger, better one this year… jeez, i’m sorry if i wanna celebrate my one-and-only baby girl’s … Continue reading

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lil black swan

last sunday was one of the best days of my life. no, puddn didn’t get laser hair removal. it was lulu’s first ballet recital… i swear to gawd it was the cutest damn thing i’ve ever seen. though it was … Continue reading

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ode to my dad

this is the first father’s day without my dad, and i gotta say it sucks. so i feel like yip-yapping a little about him and reminiscing about the good ‘ol days… his name was manny, short for manuel. which is … Continue reading

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say what!?!

the other day some girlfriends and i were yapping about embarrassing things kids blurt out in public. well last week, lulu yelled out something so bad i almost pooped my pants… you know the comments i’m talking about. like when … Continue reading

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en-rage-ment party

when you find random pairs of undies in your yard the next morning, you know you threw a pretty good party… so puddn and i hosted an engagement soiree last saturdee night for one of the dipshit brothers, ty, and … Continue reading

Posted in babysitters, f bombs, husband, in-laws, neurotic mom, nursing, toddler who curses, Uncategorized, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

schmother’s day

here’s what i know about my mother’s day: it’s probably gonna bite the big one. how do i know? well, if it’s anything like the past two years, puddn will just say, “what, you’re not my mother” and i’ll get … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breastfeeding, breastmilk, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, sick baby, tantrums, terrible twos | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments