Tag Archives: gunnar clancey

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

baby on board

i know i’ve been really bad about posting lately, but a) i’m spending time loving on my new baby (and my sweet stinky, of course), 2) i’m still in a shit-ton of pain from having my pelvis sliced open and … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, frat dude, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

put a cork in it

well it happened again. i woke up early saturday morning to take a wizz and there it was—a river of bright-red blood. you’d think that after the last crazy episode, puddn and i would be prepared…but nope, we’re clearly the … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

the devil wears seersucker

if you think puddn’s obnoxious, you should see him when he’s bombed—especially at a wedding. dear god. lemme tell you that dipsh*t is lucky to be alive today cuz last night i almost killed him… it wasn’t the first time … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

storage wars

puddn finally threatened to divorce me. no, it wasn’t over the usual reasons—lying, cheating or irreconcilable differences (though trust me, we have plenty of those)—it was over…wait for it…our garage. either i had to get rid of all the sh*t … Continue reading

Posted in cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, hoarding, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

staycation of sorts

last week was brutal. for once, it didn’t have anything to do with this damn pregnancy. nope…this time, puddn took my sweet stinky away from me for a whole week—and i seriously lost my sh*t… i was supposed to fly … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, the moms view, toddler who curses, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

tummy troubles

we had an amazingly fun week at our house—if you consider 5 days of barfing and sh*t squirts to be a good time. i wish it was puddn or myself who was illin’ (nah, i only wish it was puddn), … Continue reading

Posted in 1 in 133, baby model, birthday party, celiac disease, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, gluten, gluten-free, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, sick baby, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

party central

today’s my sweet baby lulu’s second birthday. and since she got stiffed out of a first birthday party (puddn and i got married instead), we threw her a bonafide kiddie rager at our house yesterday… i swear to gawd i … Continue reading

Posted in birthday party, celiac disease, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, gluten, gluten-free, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, sick baby, terrible twos, toddler who curses, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

happy mama’s day!

lord knows what puddn’s planning for mother’s day…but i bet it’ll suck.  like last year when he said, “but janz, why should i do anything? you’re not my mother.” i know, what a d*ck. i’ll write a post tonight, but … Continue reading

Posted in first-time mom, frat dude, grandparents, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

the belated bunny

the easter bunny came to our house yesterday morning. f*ckin’ finally, right? you see, since i was stuck in bed for weeks, we didn’t really get a chance to celebrate easter. so i wanted to make it up to stinks…who … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, easter, f bombs, frat dude, gluten, gluten-free, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, new house, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments