Tag Archives: frat dude

say what!?!

the other day some girlfriends and i were yapping about embarrassing things kids blurt out in public. well last week, lulu yelled out something so bad i almost pooped my pants… you know the comments i’m talking about. like when … Continue reading

Posted in curse words, discipline baby, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, terrible twos, toddler who curses, vacation, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

en-rage-ment party

when you find random pairs of undies in your yard the next morning, you know you threw a pretty good party… so puddn and i hosted an engagement soiree last saturdee night for one of the dipshit brothers, ty, and … Continue reading

Posted in babysitters, f bombs, husband, in-laws, neurotic mom, nursing, toddler who curses, Uncategorized, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

schmother’s day

here’s what i know about my mother’s day: it’s probably gonna bite the big one. how do i know? well, if it’s anything like the past two years, puddn will just say, “what, you’re not my mother” and i’ll get … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breastfeeding, breastmilk, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, sick baby, tantrums, terrible twos | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

ready or not

like it or not, this baby’s coming. soon. like really f*cking soon…like in less than 24 hours. and even after 12 days of lying on my ass in the hospital waiting for this day to come, i’m still not remotely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

bloody saturday

little did i know when i went to bed on friday night that i’d wake up a few hours later in a huge pool of blood—the exact terrifying scene the docs warned me about. it was really freakin’ happening… we’d … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, ofoto, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, subchorionic hemorrhage, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

the devil wears seersucker

if you think puddn’s obnoxious, you should see him when he’s bombed—especially at a wedding. dear god. lemme tell you that dipsh*t is lucky to be alive today cuz last night i almost killed him… it wasn’t the first time … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

storage wars

puddn finally threatened to divorce me. no, it wasn’t over the usual reasons—lying, cheating or irreconcilable differences (though trust me, we have plenty of those)—it was over…wait for it…our garage. either i had to get rid of all the sh*t … Continue reading

Posted in cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, hoarding, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

staycation of sorts

last week was brutal. for once, it didn’t have anything to do with this damn pregnancy. nope…this time, puddn took my sweet stinky away from me for a whole week—and i seriously lost my sh*t… i was supposed to fly … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, the moms view, toddler who curses, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

puddn in the hot seat

i haven’t really written much about puddn lately, so it’s high time he got some sh*t. i decided to ask him a list of questions about my pregnancy to see how’d he’d answer them…and he was a d*ck as usual… … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, curse words, cursing baby, discipline baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment