Tag Archives: drunk dad

en-rage-ment party

when you find random pairs of undies in your yard the next morning, you know you threw a pretty good party… so puddn and i hosted an engagement soiree last saturdee night for one of the dipshit brothers, ty, and … Continue reading

Posted in babysitters, f bombs, husband, in-laws, neurotic mom, nursing, toddler who curses, Uncategorized, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

ready or not

like it or not, this baby’s coming. soon. like really f*cking soon…like in less than 24 hours. and even after 12 days of lying on my ass in the hospital waiting for this day to come, i’m still not remotely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

bloody saturday

little did i know when i went to bed on friday night that i’d wake up a few hours later in a huge pool of blood—the exact terrifying scene the docs warned me about. it was really freakin’ happening… we’d … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, ofoto, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, subchorionic hemorrhage, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

the devil wears seersucker

if you think puddn’s obnoxious, you should see him when he’s bombed—especially at a wedding. dear god. lemme tell you that dipsh*t is lucky to be alive today cuz last night i almost killed him… it wasn’t the first time … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

storage wars

puddn finally threatened to divorce me. no, it wasn’t over the usual reasons—lying, cheating or irreconcilable differences (though trust me, we have plenty of those)—it was over…wait for it…our garage. either i had to get rid of all the sh*t … Continue reading

Posted in cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, hoarding, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

party central

today’s my sweet baby lulu’s second birthday. and since she got stiffed out of a first birthday party (puddn and i got married instead), we threw her a bonafide kiddie rager at our house yesterday… i swear to gawd i … Continue reading

Posted in birthday party, celiac disease, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, gluten, gluten-free, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, sick baby, terrible twos, toddler who curses, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

the belated bunny

the easter bunny came to our house yesterday morning. f*ckin’ finally, right? you see, since i was stuck in bed for weeks, we didn’t really get a chance to celebrate easter. so i wanted to make it up to stinks…who … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, easter, f bombs, frat dude, gluten, gluten-free, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, new house, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

no, my husband lies

i know i swore i wouldn’t acknowledge puddn’s stupid blog, but i can’t take it anymore. his last post was just too over the top. he says i’m a liar? if you know puds, then you know he’s ridiculous…and definitely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, in-laws, IVF, nanny, neurotic mom, new father, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

happy birthday, puddn!

today’s puddn’s birthday. he turned 38…yep, i robbed the cradle, but jeez, only by a coupla stinkin’ years. which btw, that mean a-hole never lets me forget. so anyway, in honor of pudsie’s bday, i thought i’d dedicate a post … Continue reading

Posted in big lebowski, dad's birthday, frat dude, husband, male body hair, new father, pregnancy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment