Category Archives: nipples

schmother’s day

here’s what i know about my mother’s day: it’s probably gonna bite the big one. how do i know? well, if it’s anything like the past two years, puddn will just say, “what, you’re not my mother” and i’ll get … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breastfeeding, breastmilk, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, sick baby, tantrums, terrible twos | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

puddn in the hot seat

i haven’t really written much about puddn lately, so it’s high time he got some sh*t. i decided to ask him a list of questions about my pregnancy to see how’d he’d answer them…and he was a d*ck as usual… … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, curse words, cursing baby, discipline baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

knocked up…another top 12

last week i wrote about the top 12 crappiest parts about being preggers—that was a total cinch. but that got me thinking…could i come up with 12 good things about being knocked up? lemme tell ya, it was a helluva … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, terrible twos, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

knocked-up top 12

today i got one of those annoying emails i signed up for that tell me about my pregnancy. this was “the 12 things you miss most during pregnancy.” most of it was totally stupid, duh. so i decided to make … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, nipples, nursing, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

puddn’s 1-2 punch

i dunno what’s more offensive: a) the fact that puddn didn’t know my middle name the other day, or b) that he caught a glimpse of my nekked preggers body and pretended to gag. i know, i married a d*ckhead… … Continue reading

Posted in curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

extended breastfeeding or bust

i know a lot of people aren’t going to like this post. and it’s fine by me. but as usual i can’t keep my big, fat mouth shut—and this time it’s about the titillating (yes, pun intended) and controversial “time … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frozen breastmilk, husband, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, placenta: eating, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

tune in, tokyo

i think stinky’s becoming a lil perv. she used to like to stroke my face to help her fall asleep…but now, she’s obsessed with tweaking my nipples. the question is: am i supposed to let her do it or not? … Continue reading

Posted in breastfeeding, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, grandparents, husband, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

suck it

i was yapping on the phone with an ex-bf the other day. the conversation was going fine ‘til he made a comment that made me wanna reach into the phone and punch him in the face… he said something along … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastfeeding, first-time mom, frozen breastmilk, hoarding, husband, milk bags, neurotic mom, nipples, nursing, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment