Category Archives: invitro fertilization

how bed rest is like prison…with perks

this time last year i was in the hospital on bed rest. oh man, it sucked. i cried, i whined, i complained, and i pretty much threatened the nurses and docs. like seriously. i was a caged animal. or a … Continue reading

Posted in baby model, bedrest, emergency room, fertility, first-time mom, gluten-free, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta: eating, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

baby on board

i know i’ve been really bad about posting lately, but a) i’m spending time loving on my new baby (and my sweet stinky, of course), 2) i’m still in a shit-ton of pain from having my pelvis sliced open and … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, frat dude, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

put a cork in it

well it happened again. i woke up early saturday morning to take a wizz and there it was—a river of bright-red blood. you’d think that after the last crazy episode, puddn and i would be prepared…but nope, we’re clearly the … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

bloody saturday

little did i know when i went to bed on friday night that i’d wake up a few hours later in a huge pool of blood—the exact terrifying scene the docs warned me about. it was really freakin’ happening… we’d … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, ofoto, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, subchorionic hemorrhage, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

staycation of sorts

last week was brutal. for once, it didn’t have anything to do with this damn pregnancy. nope…this time, puddn took my sweet stinky away from me for a whole week—and i seriously lost my sh*t… i was supposed to fly … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, the moms view, toddler who curses, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

puddn in the hot seat

i haven’t really written much about puddn lately, so it’s high time he got some sh*t. i decided to ask him a list of questions about my pregnancy to see how’d he’d answer them…and he was a d*ck as usual… … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, curse words, cursing baby, discipline baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

bloody hell

yesterday my high-risk doc scared the living sh*t outta me. as puddn and i walked outta the office, i asked if he was ready to be a single dad to 2 kids—after i bleed to death… yep, that’s what the … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, subchorionic hemorrhage, tantrums, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

the name game

aside from deciding if we’re gonna have the lil guy’s weenie skin snipped, the other big question is what we’re gonna name this kid. i’m clearly not one to keep such things (or anything else in my life) a secret, … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, circumcision, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, terrible twos, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

knocked-up top 12

today i got one of those annoying emails i signed up for that tell me about my pregnancy. this was “the 12 things you miss most during pregnancy.” most of it was totally stupid, duh. so i decided to make … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, nipples, nursing, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

happy mama’s day!

lord knows what puddn’s planning for mother’s day…but i bet it’ll suck.  like last year when he said, “but janz, why should i do anything? you’re not my mother.” i know, what a d*ck. i’ll write a post tonight, but … Continue reading

Posted in first-time mom, frat dude, grandparents, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments