Category Archives: f bombs

lil black swan

last sunday was one of the best days of my life. no, puddn didn’t get laser hair removal. it was lulu’s first ballet recital… i swear to gawd it was the cutest damn thing i’ve ever seen. though it was … Continue reading

Posted in baby model, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

en-rage-ment party

when you find random pairs of undies in your yard the next morning, you know you threw a pretty good party… so puddn and i hosted an engagement soiree last saturdee night for one of the dipshit brothers, ty, and … Continue reading

Posted in babysitters, f bombs, husband, in-laws, neurotic mom, nursing, toddler who curses, Uncategorized, wedding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

schmother’s day

here’s what i know about my mother’s day: it’s probably gonna bite the big one. how do i know? well, if it’s anything like the past two years, puddn will just say, “what, you’re not my mother” and i’ll get … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breastfeeding, breastmilk, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, sick baby, tantrums, terrible twos | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

the infirmary

why did i open my big, fat mouth and whine about how hard it is having 2 kids? i’m an idiot…i should’ve known that things could get much, much worse—and they sure f*cking did… first of all, puddn went out … Continue reading

Posted in f bombs, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, tantrums, terrible twos, toddler who curses, Uncategorized, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

one down

this weekend was ridgey’s one-month birthday. and if there’s anything i’ve learned over the past 30ish days, it’s this: having 2 kids sucks. i’m totally serious. if you’ve already got 1 decent kid and you’re thinking about having another, i … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, bedrest, breast milk, breast pump, breastfeeding, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

mooshie knows best

we spent all morning a few days ago in tears…you see, after helping us out for weeks, mooshie finally hightailed it outta here. stinks bawled her face off, i cried, and i think even puddn teared up knowing he had … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, bedrest, breast pump, breastfeeding, celiac disease, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, gluten, gluten-free, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, IVF, nanny, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, subchorionic hemorrhage, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

baby on board

i know i’ve been really bad about posting lately, but a) i’m spending time loving on my new baby (and my sweet stinky, of course), 2) i’m still in a shit-ton of pain from having my pelvis sliced open and … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, frat dude, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

ready or not

like it or not, this baby’s coming. soon. like really f*cking soon…like in less than 24 hours. and even after 12 days of lying on my ass in the hospital waiting for this day to come, i’m still not remotely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

put a cork in it

well it happened again. i woke up early saturday morning to take a wizz and there it was—a river of bright-red blood. you’d think that after the last crazy episode, puddn and i would be prepared…but nope, we’re clearly the … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, emergency room, f bombs, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments