Category Archives: cursing baby

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

one down

this weekend was ridgey’s one-month birthday. and if there’s anything i’ve learned over the past 30ish days, it’s this: having 2 kids sucks. i’m totally serious. if you’ve already got 1 decent kid and you’re thinking about having another, i … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, bedrest, breast milk, breast pump, breastfeeding, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

mooshie knows best

we spent all morning a few days ago in tears…you see, after helping us out for weeks, mooshie finally hightailed it outta here. stinks bawled her face off, i cried, and i think even puddn teared up knowing he had … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, bedrest, breast pump, breastfeeding, celiac disease, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, gluten, gluten-free, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, IVF, nanny, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, subchorionic hemorrhage, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

baby on board

i know i’ve been really bad about posting lately, but a) i’m spending time loving on my new baby (and my sweet stinky, of course), 2) i’m still in a shit-ton of pain from having my pelvis sliced open and … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, frat dude, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

ready or not

like it or not, this baby’s coming. soon. like really f*cking soon…like in less than 24 hours. and even after 12 days of lying on my ass in the hospital waiting for this day to come, i’m still not remotely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

flat on my back

right now my pits reek worse than puddn’s sweaty (and hairy) ass after crossfit. and it’s after 5 pm, and i haven’t brushed my teeth yet today. seriously, i’m repulsive. but who gives a sh*t? it’s not like anyone’s gonna … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, gluten, gluten-free, in-laws, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, subchorionic hemorrhage, thawing breastmilk, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

storage wars

puddn finally threatened to divorce me. no, it wasn’t over the usual reasons—lying, cheating or irreconcilable differences (though trust me, we have plenty of those)—it was over…wait for it…our garage. either i had to get rid of all the sh*t … Continue reading

Posted in cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, hoarding, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, new house, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

staycation of sorts

last week was brutal. for once, it didn’t have anything to do with this damn pregnancy. nope…this time, puddn took my sweet stinky away from me for a whole week—and i seriously lost my sh*t… i was supposed to fly … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, the moms view, toddler who curses, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

puddn in the hot seat

i haven’t really written much about puddn lately, so it’s high time he got some sh*t. i decided to ask him a list of questions about my pregnancy to see how’d he’d answer them…and he was a d*ck as usual… … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, curse words, cursing baby, discipline baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, invitro fertilization, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, the bachelor, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

knocked up…another top 12

last week i wrote about the top 12 crappiest parts about being preggers—that was a total cinch. but that got me thinking…could i come up with 12 good things about being knocked up? lemme tell ya, it was a helluva … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, terrible twos, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment