Category Archives: breastmilk

schmother’s day

here’s what i know about my mother’s day: it’s probably gonna bite the big one. how do i know? well, if it’s anything like the past two years, puddn will just say, “what, you’re not my mother” and i’ll get … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breastfeeding, breastmilk, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, sick baby, tantrums, terrible twos | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

knocked-up top 12

today i got one of those annoying emails i signed up for that tell me about my pregnancy. this was “the 12 things you miss most during pregnancy.” most of it was totally stupid, duh. so i decided to make … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, nipples, nursing, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

extended breastfeeding or bust

i know a lot of people aren’t going to like this post. and it’s fine by me. but as usual i can’t keep my big, fat mouth shut—and this time it’s about the titillating (yes, pun intended) and controversial “time … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frozen breastmilk, husband, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, placenta: eating, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

off my chest

i have big boobs. i didn’t always have these funbags, and in fact, they used to be downright small. i’d like to think they were once cute and perky, but dear lord, not anymore. i can’t even remember what it’s … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, neurotic mom, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment