Category Archives: breast milk

back to school

last weekend i partied like it was 1994. in other words, i was a complete idiot. i flew to virginia to go to my 20-year college reunion (please don’t do the math on that), and after the weekend i had, … Continue reading

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drunk mommy

the other night i did something i hadn’t done in years: i got totally f*cking bombed. and good god, i loved it. you might be thinking, “big whoop,” but for me it was kind of a big deal. see, i’ve … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breast pump, breastmilk, cursing baby, f bombs, grandparents, husband, i love you, in-laws, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

one down

this weekend was ridgey’s one-month birthday. and if there’s anything i’ve learned over the past 30ish days, it’s this: having 2 kids sucks. i’m totally serious. if you’ve already got 1 decent kid and you’re thinking about having another, i … Continue reading

Posted in baby names, bedrest, breast milk, breast pump, breastfeeding, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, toddler who curses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

ready or not

like it or not, this baby’s coming. soon. like really f*cking soon…like in less than 24 hours. and even after 12 days of lying on my ass in the hospital waiting for this day to come, i’m still not remotely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

knocked up…another top 12

last week i wrote about the top 12 crappiest parts about being preggers—that was a total cinch. but that got me thinking…could i come up with 12 good things about being knocked up? lemme tell ya, it was a helluva … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, cursing baby, emergency room, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, obsessive compulsive, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, shopping, terrible twos, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

knocked-up top 12

today i got one of those annoying emails i signed up for that tell me about my pregnancy. this was “the 12 things you miss most during pregnancy.” most of it was totally stupid, duh. so i decided to make … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, fertility, first-time mom, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, nipples, nursing, obsessive compulsive, OCD, placenta previa, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

extended breastfeeding or bust

i know a lot of people aren’t going to like this post. and it’s fine by me. but as usual i can’t keep my big, fat mouth shut—and this time it’s about the titillating (yes, pun intended) and controversial “time … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frozen breastmilk, husband, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, placenta: eating, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

suck it

i was yapping on the phone with an ex-bf the other day. the conversation was going fine ‘til he made a comment that made me wanna reach into the phone and punch him in the face… he said something along … Continue reading

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hoarding 101

puddn’s always calling me a hoarder. in a way, i guess he’s kinda right. but i don’t collect the typical things, like newspapers, used band-aids or drain hair. i admit i do have a slight problem with too many chairs, … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breastfeeding, donating breastmilk, first-time mom, hoarding, neurotic mom, new father, nursing, OCD, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

off my chest

i have big boobs. i didn’t always have these funbags, and in fact, they used to be downright small. i’d like to think they were once cute and perky, but dear lord, not anymore. i can’t even remember what it’s … Continue reading

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