today’s my sweet baby lulu’s second birthday. and since she got stiffed out of a first birthday party (puddn and i got married instead), we threw her a bonafide kiddie rager at our house yesterday…
i swear to gawd i put more effort into this shindig than i did for my f*cking wedding. back in the day in nyc, i planned huge events for elle magazine, and this week reminded me why that job turned me into a total maniac.
stinks invited 40 of her closest friends (thank god only 25 came) with their parents, as well as her favorite adult pals, aka, our idiot friends. of course, most of those f*ckers showed up. who knew a lame 2-year-old’s party was the place to be on sunday from 3 to 5.
since we don’t have enough seats for 80 (yes, 80) freakin’ peeps, i had to rent tables and chairs, and that’s when things started to get outta hand—and expensive as sh*t. cuz then we needed entertainment for the kids. and decorations, duh. and party favors (adorable fairy wings and kites). and food. and booze…lots and lots of booze. i’m pretty sure the grand total came to $1200+. yep, clearly i’m nuts, and extraordinarily stupid.
but i didn’t mean for things to get so crazy. and i tried to cut corners where i could. my mom and i made adorable fabric carnival buntings so i didn’t have to spend a fortune buying them (btw, they were the hit of the party). and the night before the fete, i was making home-made cupcakes and flower arrangements ‘til 2 am.
we swore this was lu’s last party ‘til her sweet 16, but whatever happens, somebody remind me not to throw another one with puddn. lemme tell you, that guy really poops on party planning—to the point that i suggested we drive in separate cars to costco. and of course he insisted we buy the 750-pack of red plastic solo cups. red. for a pink, green and white party? no f*cking way. (moms, am i right here, or what?) that started party argument #113. “you’re crazy, janz, no one cares what color the stupid cups are!” um, i cared—and ended up finding clear biogradeable, compostable plant-made ones…booyah!
but everything worked out in the end, and the party was amazing. puddn informed me about 30 minutes into it that he was bombed, as were all our friends who don’t have kids. there were actually 2 parties: one in the front yard for single peeps, kid-haters and smokers, and the one out back with the kiddie band and the rest of the insanity.
the best part was stinks had an absolute ball—when she wasn’t screaming at kids for playing with her toys. she jammed out to the band, mowed down gluten-filled goldfish when i wasn’t looking (btw, she had raging diarrhea today), and loved when all the attention was on her when we sang “happy birthday.” it was awesome. and totally worth all the trouble.
so i’m thinking we’ll do a red, white and blue theme next year…yah, that’s right, next year. after all, your baby only turns 3 once, right? but i’m still not getting those f*cking red cups.
happy second birthday to my sweet, funny, beautiful baby girl. you’re the biggest joy and love of my life (sorry, puddn). i love watching your amazing lil personality emerge, and i love you more and more every day. just please don’t turn into a terrible-twos monster!
check out LULU’s BIRTHDAY PARTY video montage on YOUTUBE!!! and my new vlog series!