i’m 20 weeks preggers and i’m kinda starting to lose my sh*t. now that i’m half-way there, it’s normal to be scared, right? before i know it, i’m gonna have another baby to take care of—and we all know this boy’s a lil a-hole already…
i realized this weekend that having another kid might really be a nightmare. especially a boy. at one point, puddn and i looked at each other and said, “holy sh*t, we’re f*cked.”
we spent the weekend in palm desert with 2 other families—with a total of 5 kiddies, including stinks. 4 girls and 1 baby boy. dear god, it was nuts. in a good way, of course. but that 1 lil dude was a handful all by himself.
the quote of the weekend was “hey, where’s george?” and he was either running out into the fairway (we were on a golf course, duh), throwing food, chucking sand, eating crayons, licking paint, playing in the toilet or kicking something. then he pulled lu’s hair and gave her a shiner by clocking her with a ukulele. i’m pretty sure that means he has a crush on her.
and as for lu? she was smitten. she followed that kid around like he was the biebs. every morning she’d wake up and ask, “mama, where’d georgie go?” and now that we’re home, she’s still asking. yep, stinks is boy crazy already.
so anyway, what am i gonna do if this baby boy is anything like sweet, adorable, messy, gets-into-everything georgie? i really got lucky with my stinks—she’s a cinch—well, except at bedtime, of course. but as puddn likes to point out, that problem is all my fault. yah, i know. shaddap, puddn.
i dunno if i’m ready for a boy. everyone who has a lil dude says it’s totally different than having a girl. cuz basically they suck. you can’t take them to dinner cuz they won’t sit in the high chair and play with dollbabies. you can’t take them shopping cuz they won’t chill in the stroller. and even going to the playground blows cuz all they wanna do is run—away from you.
am i right about this? according to my sister weezie, i’m screwed. she has her own hands full with 4 1/2-year-old luke rocco. and even though i told her we saw a mini dong in the ultrasound, she’s still in denial cuz she can’t picture me with a boy. oy, that makes 2 of us.
and speaking of dongs, like i know how to clean a baby’s junk. then there’s the question of circumcision. to snip or not to snip? dear god…we’ll yap about that another time.
‘til then, hasta la penis, baby.
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