Monthly Archives: May 2012

half-time show

i’m 20 weeks preggers and i’m kinda starting to lose my sh*t. now that i’m half-way there, it’s normal to be scared, right? before i know it, i’m gonna have another baby to take care of—and we all know this … Continue reading

Posted in cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, neurotic mom, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, tantrums, terrible twos, toddler who curses, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

20 weeks ‘n’ counting

sorry i’ve been so lazy about posting. hey, we were on vacation…well, sorta. if you count having 5 kids running around like mini-maniacs a vacay, then i guess that’s what it was. i’ll be posting a new blog tomorrow, but … Continue reading

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the man, the legend

in case you haven’t seen enough of me (and puddn and stinks), here’s my latest vlog. like the true gentleman he is, puddn re-enacts how he gagged when he saw my naked preggers bod the other day. what a guy. … Continue reading

Posted in husband, i love you, neurotic mom, new father, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, terrible twos, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

puddn’s 1-2 punch

i dunno what’s more offensive: a) the fact that puddn didn’t know my middle name the other day, or b) that he caught a glimpse of my nekked preggers body and pretended to gag. i know, i married a d*ckhead… … Continue reading

Posted in curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, i love you, IVF, male body hair, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

nutty buddies

lulu might look a lot like her dopey dad, but her crazy lil personality is straight from her mama. like her serious addiction to peanut butter. we’re both bonafide, throw-us-in-betty-ford, full-on addicts…and it ain’t pretty… i dunno why i ever … Continue reading

Posted in f bombs, first-time mom, neurotic mom, obsessive compulsive, OCD | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

happy mother’s day?

everybody knows puddn totally sucks at being romantic, thoughtful or sensitive. so i know by now not to expect much for mother’s day—or any day for that matter… like the other day i told him i’d bought mother’s day cards … Continue reading

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happy mama’s day!

lord knows what puddn’s planning for mother’s day…but i bet it’ll suck.  like last year when he said, “but janz, why should i do anything? you’re not my mother.” i know, what a d*ck. i’ll write a post tonight, but … Continue reading

Posted in first-time mom, frat dude, grandparents, husband, invitro fertilization, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, vacation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

extended breastfeeding or bust

i know a lot of people aren’t going to like this post. and it’s fine by me. but as usual i can’t keep my big, fat mouth shut—and this time it’s about the titillating (yes, pun intended) and controversial “time … Continue reading

Posted in breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, curse words, f bombs, first-time mom, frozen breastmilk, husband, neurotic mom, new father, nipples, nursing, placenta: eating, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

the belated bunny

the easter bunny came to our house yesterday morning. f*ckin’ finally, right? you see, since i was stuck in bed for weeks, we didn’t really get a chance to celebrate easter. so i wanted to make it up to stinks…who … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, easter, f bombs, frat dude, gluten, gluten-free, husband, IVF, neurotic mom, new father, new house, OCD, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

no, my husband lies

i know i swore i wouldn’t acknowledge puddn’s stupid blog, but i can’t take it anymore. his last post was just too over the top. he says i’m a liar? if you know puds, then you know he’s ridiculous…and definitely … Continue reading

Posted in bedrest, curse words, cursing baby, f bombs, first-time mom, frat dude, husband, in-laws, IVF, nanny, neurotic mom, new father, pregnancy, pregnant at 40, toddler who curses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments